I hate buying gifts for my mom for any holiday…particularly Mother’s Day. She’s a nightmare. And, if she’s reading this, she’s adamantly denying being anything but laid back and easy-breezy. My ass. Right, Dad?
One of the reasons that I hate buying gifts for my mom is because I can’t ever seem to find anything that really conveys my love and appreciation for her. A sweater? A candle? Flowers? They all pale in comparison when I think about everything that she continues to give me each and every day.
Even cards seem trite.
How can I wrap up a lifetime of love, sometimes tough love, sacrifice, and safety? How do I tell a woman who spends every last minute of her day committed to making sure that her daughters and sons-in-laws, and grandchildren never doubt her truly unconditional love?
Well, I can start by apologizing.
Mom, I’m Sorry. The Short List.
Mom, I am sorry for the following things:
Being a picky eater, overly persistent, and thinking I know better than you.
I’m sorry for not eating the chicken nuggets you drove 20 miles out of the way to find because I said that’s what I wanted to eat and you were desperate for me to eat ANYTHING.
I’m sorry for being persistent about riding my bike with training wheels down a hill despite the fact you told me not to, and then crashing into a parked vehicle resulting in the fracture of my forearm while you were cooking dinner and tending to my then 18 month old sister.
Oh, and the time I broke my clavicle doing the exact same thing 5 years later. And then again in my car 7 years after the last incident, and even though I walked away totally scared of driving, you forced me back into my car the very next day.
I’m sorry I volunteered you to make all of the May Day costumes in Kindergarten even though you didn’t know how to sew.
And I’m sorry that I volunteered you again, 4 years later, to sew flags for the Salute to America program, including the great state of Wyoming…I had no idea you knew how to free hand a buffalo.
I’m sorry that I melted down and told my teacher that you would kill me for making a B on my test, causing her to call you in to her office for suspected child abuse.
I’m sorry for ages 11-15 and then again for ages 17-20.
I’m sorry that I told you that I couldn’t wait to move out of the house. I’d give my right eye to move back in and have everything as it was. And I know that I’d clean anything without you having to ask.
I’m sorry I didn’t ever seem to see all the dust and dog hair on the floor and that I never voluntarily vacuumed or mopped. I am proud to report that I see dust and dirt and dog hair EVERYWHERE now.
I’m sorry if I ever complained about putting away laundry or what you made for dinner or why I had to clean the bathrooms. It drives me insane when my own children complain now and I know this is my comeuppance.
I’m sorry if you ever felt that I didn’t care or appreciate you. I was stupid and selfish. And I get it now.
I have a lot more to be sorry for, but honestly, for every apology, I have even more to be thankful for…
Thank You, Mom. This Doesn’t Even Begin To Cover It All.
Thank you for always believing in me, even when I don’t believe in myself.
Thank you for always telling me the truth, even when I don’t want to hear it.
Thank you for listening. Just listening.
Thank you for being the not-so-little voice in my head reminding me that family and love are all that really matter in life.
Thank you for modeling what a positive and strong marriage looks like. Oh, and for letting me know that passion in your marriage matters.
Thank you for loving me for who I am and never asking me to be any different. Because the love you give me has taught me how to love my girls not only as my daughters but as the amazing individuals that they are.
Above all, thank you for being my friend, my mom, my sanity. I love you. Happy Mother’s Day!